WITH THE transfer window wide enough for Andy Carroll to fit through, you can’t walk out the door without someone shouting some ridiculous rumour in your face. So, we’ve handily cobbled together a first XI of some of the more interesting potential moves you can shout right back.
And remember, you can catch a lot of these chaps in live Barclays Premier League action on Sky Sports 1, Sky Sports 2 and ESPN.
Peterborough’s stopper has trained with QPR and played in a friendly for the Hoops against Leyton Orient. There are rumours he may be signing for QPR.
Chelsea, Man United, and George Clooney’s Ocean’s team are chasing the greatest Bolton centre-back of the last two years. His likes include winning trophies and earning £100,000-a-week, allegedly.
When the transfer window opens Harry Redknapp’s like a dog with a treat on its nose. Spurs need muscle in their defence and potless Blackburn have a defender that resembles a big cartoon safe. Go figure.
Find out more juicy gossip about these cheeky centre-backs at Life’s A Pitch
Man City boss Roberto Mancini has allegedly hired Scooby Doo extras to scare former footballer Wayne Bridge out of the Etihad. If he succeeds, Arsenal’s collection of rickety defenders could increase by one.
See what Wayne’s Man City mates get up to while he’s playing golf.
After investing in a ‘Z’ for the Chelsea shop shirt-printer, the Blues are determined to land Marseille’s £12million defender, who could also help plug a massive hole in their defence.
Ever since he made continental defenders comically run into each other, Barcelona have been trying to lure Gareth Bale to the Nou Camp with ever more extravagant displays of a game the world will soon be calling Barcaball.
Get the lowdown on Gareth at Life’s A Pitch
Footballer and part-time chimney sweep Jack Wilshere could be heading to Real Madrid after the Spanish giant’s wish list of child stars appeared on the internet. A few million and a PS3 should seal the deal.
Will Jack be the lad for 2012? Find out at Life’s A Pitch
Modric is off to Chelsea. Oh no he’s not! Oh yes he is! Etc. It’s worth mentioning, simply in the hope of seeing Harry Redknapp literally explode.
Arsène Wenger looks at Arshavin like someone on the Antiques Roadshow who bought a teapot for three pence at a car boot sale, only to discover it’s actually a teapot worth three pence. Henry in, Arshavin out?
With defenders no longer needing notes to say they’re excused from playing against Drogba, the striker could be off to a £400,000-a-week gig in Shanghai. Where’d it all go wrong, Didier?
Brazil’s answer to Jedwood has promised to stay at Santos, but he’s a teenager and thinks promises last 27 minutes. Chelsea and Real Madrid lead the pack for his £45million signature.
What are the best, funniest, or most outrageous transfer rumours you’ve heard? Tell us about it below. And for sport, film and TV chit-chat, follow @tvfrombt on Twitter.